Craving
by DetectiveLion
Summary: His heart had just about stopped... It wasn't until later that he began to reclaim his memory. They came in snatches at first—voices, movements, sensations... (He lost, and XANA took over.)


Everything during his possession was a big blank. All he remembered was bidding Ulrich and Odd farewell before turning back to his computer screen. Then suddenly his nerves were on fire and blackness slammed down on his brain.

He opened his eyes to the blurry faces of his friends hovering over him. Everything was muddled in Jeremie's disoriented mind; he was barely able to recall their names for a few terrifying seconds. It took a minute, but soon he was sitting up and they were explaining what had happened.

"XANA possessed you."

His heart had just about stopped. They never gave him the details, only that he had gone through the usual Capture-Aelita-And-Bring-Her-To-The-Factory routine that XANA always followed. When he asked why Odd's hair was on end (even more so than usual), the boy had shivered but shot him a weary smile. "Take a guess, Sparky," he had joked.

It wasn't until later that he began to reclaim his memory. They came in snatches at first—voices, movements, sensations.

_It started with a dark fog clouding his mind. When he tried to fight it off, there was a stab right in his brain that had his eyes rolling up in agony. Every ounce of willpower he had was fighting, tearing itself and the intruder to pieces as he clung to sanity and self-control. His senses were heightened beyond belief—he could hear heartbeats, breathing, the heavy metal playing three doors over was ripping his ears apart, the colors of his room were far too bright so he shut his eyes, but that only made his sense of smell keener as the acrid stench of car exhaust burned his nose. _

_He lost, and XANA took over. _

As time passed, however, more began to come to him. He found himself jerking up in his chair in a cold sweat, horrified by the images his dreams had presented. Even the naps he took at the computer were worthless as nightmares sapped his strength each night.

His friends were beginning to notice, too. Bags and dark shadows had formed beneath his eyes. He had once wandered into class with his turtleneck pulled over his pajamas and hair a mess. At first, they assumed it was his usual overexertion, toiling away at the computer all night. Aelita was a bit more perceptive, realizing he was even more tired than usual. She once cornered him in his dorm and demanded answers.

For the first time, Jeremie lied to her. The words came to his tongue with ease. He didn't fidget, didn't avert his gaze, just looked her tiredly in the eye and yawned out, "I've gotten a lead on the antivirus."

She hesitated, but believed him. He was, after all, a terrible liar. After a bit of more insisting for him to get to bed, she finally left him. The brief twinge of guilt he felt quickly faded.

That was Jeremie's first clue that something was horribly, horribly wrong.

"_Jeremie, pleas-AAAUGH!"_

_She went limp in his arms again, eyes still open but rolled up in her head. He gave her a quick look to make sure she was out cold before giving an indifferent snort and continuing stiffly on his way. Those brats would be coming soon, they always were. They'd be the first to go, once he was in control. But first, he needed the girl, and the Keys she possessed._

His eyes snapped open and he sat up with a small cry. His heart beat frantically, clammy hands trembling. It took him a few seconds to realize he was in the factory, sitting in the familiar chair. The computer screen glowed dimly at him, rows upon rows of coding becoming nothing more than a jumbled mess before his eyes.

He lifted a quivering hand to hover in front of his bespectacled eyes. It was still there. The power, the strength he had possessed was still there. He could _feel_ it, in that kind-of-not-really way, as though recalling a vivid dream or being detached from his senses.

Jeremie remembered it—the feeling of ultimate power, electricity dancing at his fingertips. He could remember the fear in the faces of his friends directed, for the only time in his memory, at him. It had felt like he could do _anything_, like he was standing on top of the world and everyone else could do nothing but look up at him. No more laughter, no more snide comments about the Teacher's Pet. The doubting looks his friends—his own _friends_—had once sent him were gone as they realized he was dangerous, that he really could hurt them. It was sickening, it was terrifying, it was—

It was enthralling. He had been, in those few hours, superior. He could wipe the arrogant grin off Odd's face, could send martial artist Ulrich tumbling to the ground, could toss Yumi across the room with a flick of his wrist. Aelita, too, had been in his power. Like that, no one could ridicule him again. He struck fear and twisted awe into the hearts of every other being, and he loved it.

And that terrified him.

The sudden desire shook Jeremie to the core. He found himself craving the strength XANA could give him, hating himself for feeling so.

He had _hurt _them. He had literally been a second away from sending thousands of volts of electricity into Odd's brain, a quick but agonizing death. Not even five more seconds, and Odd would have been dead. Even as his friend had been in danger of death, he hadn't been strong enough to fight XANA. Perhaps that was why he wanted the power so much. The feeling of helplessness left a bitter taste in his mouth and an ache he couldn't explain.

The young genius sank into his chair, still staring at the screen of code before him. Before his very eyes, the Eye of XANA formed on screen. For once it didn't seem to be a threat. Rather, it was more like a question. An offer, almost, and one he was tempted to take…

A rumble from behind alerted Jeremie to his visitor. He craned his neck around the chair just as the elevator doors slid open.

"Thought we'd find you here," Ulrich explained.

"You fell asleep here again?"

"Honestly, Einstein. Even walking brains need a rest.

"Come on, Jeremie. Jim's going to take us to the park after lunch. Why don't you come with?"

Four hopeful yet uncertain gazes were directed at him. Jeremie stared back and glanced at the screen. The Eye was gone.

Taking a breath, he reached over and pressed the button that made the screen go black. He smiled faintly at the shock written across all his friends' faces.

"Well what are you waiting for?" He asked, strolling over to them. "We better go."

He had hurt his friends. He had nearly killed one, and been unable to stop himself from doing so.

But his friends were.

* * *

**…What is this I don't even…**

**So… My first Code Lyoko fic. Interpret it as you will.**


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